Tuesday, January 7, 2014

It's Okay to Tip an Atheist

All of what I'm about to say is mostly built upon assumption about a situation that happened to me. I forward this post by saying that because I could be off the mark completely, but who knows besides Jesus.

As many people know, I am a barista at a local coffee shop here in Ypsilanti. On top of my regular hourly pay, I also get tipped (which is pretty much what I live off day to day). Many people who work in food service who also receive tips, would more than likely agree with me that tips are great and everyone should tip.

This past Saturday, I was at work and a pretty big crowd came in and ever so often someone would tip me maybe $.25 or so. A man who was in this particular group came up and jokingly told me that he had a lot of singles and didn't know what to do with them. Jokingly, I replied "Feel free to give some to me." He laughed a little bit and we started talking.

This guy is apart of a ministry that is beginning / really small in the Ypsilanti area and all the people who had gotten a coffee were also apart of this ministry. Eventually the question came as to where I'm at in my walk with Jesus to which I said something along the lines of "I believe in Jesus and I have a church I attend." More conversation happened about his ministry, business cards were exchanged, and the guy tipped me $2.00.

When he walked away, the only thing I could think about is "What about if I wasn't a Christian..." What about if I didn't believe Jesus is Lord of all,who died for my sins, rose from the dead, and is seated at the right hand of the Father?

Would this guy have tipped me?

This is not a post about the purpose of tipping.
This is not a post about how this guy as a person.
This post is about the frustrations I have that I may have been tipped BECAUSE I believe in Jesus.

In my favorite book of God's Word, Romans, it is written in Chapter 3 about how Jews and Gentiles "alike are all under the power of sin. (v. 9)" Jews grew up with God's Word being taught to them in every aspect of life YET Jesus still says "You gotta want to be in this relationship with me for this to work properly". and Gentiles were considered the absolute least YET Jesus says "I died for you too. You also have to want this relationship for this to work."

Christ calls us to love like He loves: Without judgement, with an open heart, and with the desire to be an incarnation of Christ to everyone we meet.
And I fail daily at this. I say this to show that I also have a plank in my eye.

To conclude, a few points:

1. Tip. I'm not going to pull the sob story card but I will pull the be a good person card. Pennies are magical because they when you get enough of them, you can make nickles and dimes.

2. I don't know how Jesus feels about tipping but I do know the bit about 10% in tithing and I do know the universal suggestion of 10%-20% in tipping.

3. It's okay to tip someone who isn't a Christian because lucky for both parties, salvation isn't based on anything this world can give, but on everything God gives so freely.

I don't know if this post helped you at all. Reading it over and over, I can see how it doesn't answer anything but I feel better now. Feel free to comment and share this. I love hearing what others are thinking about something I'm thinking about.

Go out and show the world His love,

Monday, November 26, 2012

God and Angie: A Love Story

It's been months since I've written and even more months since I reflected on experiences. It's actually quite funny, I'm not big on reflecting because most of the time, it's for a class or something and I know the professor doesn't actually care. But, how I reflect allows whomever wants to read my blog posts, a little insight into my mind and what exactly I think when it comes to many things.

A lot has changed and a lot really hasn't. On the inside, yes, my mentality is changing and my ability to really understand fully is changing. And most importantly, how I am reacting to God is changing and that one has been the most recent change. On the more physical level, I am on my way to dropping pounds. I am noticing but not many people are (or they are afraid to hurt my feelings). That is giving me a ton of confidence and is something I can take ownership of. No one is making me not eat as much, go to the gym a few times a week, think twice about eating a donut, no one but myself. And to be honest, it makes me feel more accountable to myself for myself.

See, I'm learning to focus on me again.

What I want to delve into a lot a bit is what God is doing in my life. All of this is pretty recent stuff, I'm talking a week or so. What that has taught me is that when a person is actually open to be changed by the Lord, He works. It's as simple as that. What I have realized with that, is that I am more open to changing when my heart and mind agree. I guess that makes sense; does anyone else experience that?

So, with all that, I God has been convicting me to do the following:

1. Read His Word like crazy. But not just read it, understand for myself and let that guide my relationship with Him. And it's really been great: I'm currently going through two studies on my iPod and I am writing notes and highlighting things that I like or question or whatever else I am feeling. It's really been putting me in a Godly way of thinking and is really helping me discern relationships around me.

2. There are some things meant to be discussed and also things that God doesn't want me to talk about. I know these things because I am still trying to understand much of what I am being taught and it doesn't make much sense to say things that I am still trying to discern. That's one that I really need to work on and, once again it's one of those things people can encourage me to do but not do for me.

3. Lastly, God is really teaching me that HE is my foundation and to trust Him. Isn't that kind of a daily thing to remember?  Yeah, I think so to. And that it's okay to open up to other people but more importantly, God loves just listening. And I love talking. It's a nice relationship we have.

To conclude, I have a lot more I could say but I don't think this post is the place for that. I do ask you PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE keep me in your prayers. I'm not saying thoughts because thoughts can be molded into something not of God; prayers not so much. This isn't to say that if you were to tell me "Angie, I was thinking about your post but then you told me not to, therefore I stopped." That'd annoy me because a) you'd sound like and b) Augh. You over think things.

What I would love prayer for is using what is happening on the inside and letting it show. That's like the biggest thing I can for prayer about.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. And please comment. Message me. Call me. Please contact me. I want to share what God is doing with me and I'd love to just reflect in person. And I'd love to know what God is doing in you too. So please, do that.

And all of God's people said, AMEN!

Friday, September 14, 2012

"Let me know if I can do anything for you."

For the second time in my life, I have been hit in the face with death but this time, it's a lot different: It's a real person.

My grandfather passed away on Thursday morning / Thursday evening and it really caught everyone off guard. I won't get into the not-so-gory details, but he died peacefully, which is a blessing. in my opinion. I've only cried once but, I am expecting tears at the funeral. Also, I'm talking at the funeral, I am taking my role as  only female granddaughter very seriously and because I think....well, I just need so closure on the whole thing, so why not do it in public.

The one thing I keep getting from people is "Let me know if you need anything" "What can I do for you" ect. And I really do not understand this question: I don't need anything and what can you give me anyway? I mean, if you want to tell my ex he's being a buttface, that'd help me out...sorry, I'm really good at comic relief.

But seriously, I don't know what this question means. I know people are saying it be polite and I know I've said it to people who have lost a loved one but, I beg, what does this mean? All I request is prayer for strength and maybe some hugs (no kisses please).

On a lighter one, I'm sorry I haven't updated. I have lots to update on but for right now, I want to let all of you know that I know my worth is in God and that because of a lot of personal things, I put my worth in people that will let me down. Thanks to a lot of terrible sucky things recently along with amazing friends and Jesus, I know that I am loved and that I deserve a lot better than someone who sees me as a pawn in their game.

That it for now.

Love Prevails,

Monday, July 30, 2012

Rejection is the easiest way to humble a person.

So, you know that moment you should have listened to God but instead you don't and everything goes to the shits? Mhm, that happened this weekend.

I am not going to get tell my entire store here but I will say that I learned a whole lot and I learned that this whole detox thing is going to start all over again. It's kind of of like when you quit smoking, at least for me: You stop and you feel really great after feeling like crap for a long time and then temptation comes and you say "I'll only do it once, I'll be fine." and then you smoke all weekend and you feel like crap afterwards. Yea, that's basically how I feel.

I learned that I am still not ready for a relationship and that my natural "sex drive" is still ever so present. I use it for bad reasons this weekend to get what I wanted and that's what I'm really kicking myself for now. I ended up hurting myself a whole lot and I hurt the guy because his feelings are confusing towards me which I don't even understand, I'm not convinced he even understands. I also can't date because I like the freedom I have and I like the independence I have with a lot of stuff. I'm not in a position to be give my heart up and I really don't think it's a good idea.

I learned that my heart is bigger than my head. I care about this guy a whole lot and for some reason I only learned this AFTER messing everything up. I don't care about him enough to put effort into being a girlfriend (even though we've both clearly stated we don't want that) but I want this friendship. I showed in it in a dumb way and my mind was focused on one thing. The guy cares for me too, that changed really quickly this weekend and that confuses me even more and kind of says something about me: If I'm not getting what I want, I'm not happy even if the thing I don't want is the better decision AND I know that.

I learned that I can do better and be better. Why did it take me until yesterday to realize that EVERY TIME  I am alone with this guy, I end up crying? I realized it on Friday but....it's confusing and I think I will talk about that in another post. I told the guy that he can do better than me and I think he understands, I don't know. I think I've learned that trusting this guy is either gonna be hard or not going to happen.

If you know who I am talking about, good for you. I'm sure if you are reading this and you tell the guy what I said, I honestly don't care. Everything I just wrote, he already knows and has been expressed.

That's about it.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

It's frustrating that I'm forced to pick my career at 19

So, we all know that I'm a social work major but it's a little confusing as to what exactly what I want to do .

I don't even know what I want to do.

Seeing The Dark Knight Rises last night got me thinking about how neat it would be to be a detective. I've secretly always been interested in it because of Psych, The First 48, and this CSI game I am playing on Facebook. Now, I do understand that there is HUGE difference between scripted movies and shows and real life, I don't want you aka the readers of this blog, to think that I don't get that BUT I still think being a detective would be pretty cool.

I'm really into logic. That doesn't make sense but I like to think about why things happen and I like to investigate things. I know my explanation doesn't make a lot of sense but, I dunno it is something I secretly (now not so secretly) really enjoy.

The problem with all of this is that I don't know a dang thing about criminal justice and I don't like change and the idea of not being a social work major is strange. And then I'm nervous that I'd change my major and it'd be on a whim and it'd be a bad idea and so many other thoughts. . . .

I just don't know what I want to do. It's irritating that I have to pick my life right now and it feels like it's frowned upon  to change my major so far into my major (even though I'm really not). Also, I do wanna work with kids but I don't wanna be a teacher and it's just so irritating.

To conclude, I have no idea what I want but I'd love some prayer and guidance and a blizzard.

Love Prevails,

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

I wonder how many times I'll hear "I told you so"

I'm pretty much preparing to hear "I told you would enjoy yourself, Angie!". Well screw you too ;)

I'm talking about how everyone knew that I would actually really enjoy myself at the Joni and Friends Family Retreat but I think I enjoyed myself for a lot of other reasons outside of serving people and that's what I would like to talk about in this blog post.

My experience with JAF was unique. I mean, duh, everyone went for unique reasons and things that happened to everyone person was unique but, I must say, my experience was very Angie-like if that makes any sense.

I can't really get into much detail about the beginning of the week because of the legality of things but basically, God had a plan for me to get hurt and get some battle bruises which, to me, kind of proved that I am fighter and that I would much rather get some bruises than someone get seriously injured. I really think that surprised everyone, like, I was upset that I was hurt but I wanted to go back into the war zone if I had some control over the situation. Honestly, just so everyone is on the same page, I am not upset that I got hurt and I am not upset at the person that hurt me, I was upset that I didn't know more going into the situation. I'm also upset at the lack of communication but, that's whatever, it's over now.

^And that was Wednesday.

Thursday comes about and damage control needed to happen and again God worked in all the leaders and I was assigned to work with Deb, a older woman who was the assistant craft leader who has a disease that has made her retina weaker (something about degenerating). My job for the week was to assist Deb aka Minion (I was dubbed Mintoo) in little kid crafts and in telling her what was on the food line because she is not able to see the different types of food but knows what she likes. Working with Deb was better than I could have imagined. We're both fiesty, sassy, but we also have our sensitive sides. A lot of people asked if we were related but I promise, we are not related :)

Not being an STM to an actual camper was actually super neat because I got more freedom in a way and I got to get to know a lot more of the campers. Then again, I don't have any "close" relationship with any of the campers but I did get really close with three STM's that were all sisters.

Moving away from what things were happening on the outside, lots of stuff were going on inside of me and that's the most important thing I can stress: I went there one person and I came back another person.

For the first couple days I feel this detached feeling and it was actually really irritating but I covered it up with being aggressive and pretty rude to people. I can't exactly put my finger on it but a lot of it was fear and not wanting to change how I did things and I didn't want to just focus on the happy aspect (I still don't). I understand that it's a place meant to be happy but that doesn't mean that the negative things shouldn't be addressed also like with other STM's (which I will admit happened. But not against anyone in particular, just needing to talk).

So, on Thursday morning during butt-o-clock devotion, I admitted to my group that I've been feeling this hardness in my heart and that I would really like some prayer. I also vowed to myself that that day I wasn't going to complain about anything and just enjoy it (you'll be happy to hear that I only complained once that day) and God did SO MUCH to me in that day. Like, it was freaking amazing. I let myself feel and experience. I interacted with more people and I am so thankful I did.

To conclude, I haven't completely conquered my fear of disabled people but JAF really put it in perspective. I would like to personally thank everyone that donated money to me: Momma Stauffer, my dad, Tori Banks, Lauren Rumford, Wendi Voorheis, Chris Klimola, Darcy Pugsely Gene and Myra Dennis, Random guy at B-24's and most importantly Cross and Resurrection  Lutheran Church for matching my funds.

And I would also like to thank everyone that I met at the family retreat. All of you helped me so much last week and I enjoyed getting to know you. I will always remember all of you and I am excited to stay in contact with you all :)

Love Prevails,

Sunday, July 1, 2012

I love me some ebony and ivory.

Right now, I'm super bored thus, blogging seems like the next best thing to be doing.

I guess what I can talk about is how musical I'm getting again.

I use to be in band, literally did it for 12 years of my life. I am a percussionist through and through but I dabbled in playing my friends' trumpet, violin, horn, and I think every band instrument. I really miss band. It really made me the person I am today ( I say that about a lot of stuff) but really, it did.

What I use to do is make up random songs on the piano and it was a way for me to release emotions. It was never super great but there was one time I came up with a really good little melody but I have now forgotten it.

So, I kind of just stopped playing piano. College started and I didn't have time. Dating kind of made it hard to do anything, which was my fault not Patrick's. I never really thought about getting involved with playing until maybe a week ago. Patrick being Patrick, knowing me far too well, encouraged me to get a hobby so that I could start doing things for me when we broke up. Not in an asshole way but in a caring way. The whole thing kind of got set out of my mind with trying to focus on moving on, God, and just getting my life back on the correct plate. But, this whole week I was feeling this desire to play the piano and sing.

So, I have been. I've actually been singing more than playing piano but I remembered that I still kind of suck at playing properly. I always play the same dang thing. As for singing, I've become accustomed to taking my dog for a walk, blasting my iPod and screaming lyrics. If you live in my neighborhood, sorry I sing so loud. . . but really, it's been a great way to just sing again.

I think that's it.....I may update later on tonight, depending on what's going on.